November 04, 2010

Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You....

Smoking cigarettes has been the one constant in my life for the past three years (as well as time, but I'm not going there). I have let my nicotine addiction completely and utterly dictate all my actions: "I'm stressed out," what do I do? Smoke a cigarette! "I've eaten an amazing meal (or anything at all)," what do I do? Smoke a cigarette! "You know what would go great with this mocha?" A CIGARETTE! I think you get what I'm saying here.

Despite what I've been told my whole life about the destruction and despair cigarettes cause, I've always been attracted to the act of smoking.  To this day I still find it glamorous in an edgy, rebellious, alluring 'I don't give a $#!%' way. And that my friends is my pitfall-the black beauty of disintegration and all that it encompasses. Plus, I've always thought Kate Moss looked quite fabulous with a cig gently adorning her lips. Oh yeah, and I'm obsessed with the 60s, when coincidentally everyone and their mothers smoked.

BUT I am done, done, DONE! These things make me feel feeble and dependent most of the time and I am way too young to feel this terrible. From this day on I am claiming my health back from potential disease and vow to never play prisoner to these evil little cancer sticks again. It won't be easy though. Hopefully I can remain a nice person and not drive my boyfriend crazy with nicotine-withdrawal induced mood swings. So, in addition to whatever it is I've been writing about on this here blog, I will be chronicling my struggle to a cigarette-free lifestyle; more importantly without turning this endeavor into perpetual complaining. 

Farewell my mischievous little life-ruiners, all the chewing gum in the world will never compare. But at least I'll feel a whole hell-of-a-lot better!

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